Keep an open line of communication about your sexual desires
The better that you and you partner communicate with each other the more smoothly your relationship will run. The same goes for your communication when it comes to sexual desires. Many people feel ashamed of certain desires that they have, and keep them hidden from their partners. But playing these desires over in your head, or even pushing them away can cause issues down the track. Your sex life and sexual desire towards your partner may wane as a result of not being open and honest about the way that you feel.
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Be forthcoming with your partner. If you are in a loving relationship, they will go to some efforts to help you to indulge in your desires, or work a way the two of you can manage them effectively.
Learn to read your partner’s moods and know when they are and aren’t going to respond sexually
Trying to get your partner to respond sexually when they are in certain moods or “zones” is a recipe for disaster. If your partner likes to concentrate while she is cooking, coming up behind her at the stove and giving her a rub and cuddle is likely to make her annoyed, not twirl around and respond with glee. Likewise, if you’re in a bad mood because you’ve been on the phone with the bank for half an hour and she tries to plant a kiss on you, you might hush her away.
Certain people respond in certain ways depending on what mood they are in. Learning whether your partner likes to be plied with love/sexual desire when they’re concentrating/angry/sad/etc. helps you to be a better lover. If you interrupt your partner too many times during moods of theirs, this can become a repetitive behaviour and they may even become less sexually open overall.
Remember to always make an effort
Try going on a solo weeks or weekends away
They do say that absence makes the heart grow fonder – and there may just be something to it. Some couples do everything together, whereas others lead rich solo, as well as couple lives. Having time apart from one another helps to realise what you love about your partner, and gives them time to grow individually at the same time.
Try taking solo weekends or weeks away from each other at times. Having time out either by yourself or with some friends can be energizing and reinvigorating not just for the both of you individually, but as a couple as well.
Practice loving touch – not just sex
There’s far more to sexual desire than just sex. If you are your partner are the 5-10 minutes of foreplay, sex, sleep types, then it’s time to expand your repertoire to ensure that your relationship goes the distance.
Practicing loving touch is about exploring and worshipping each other’s bodies, running your hand over them, massages, and the like. Try different places when you’re doing this too – maybe on the floor, the couch, the shower? The bed’s not the only place to have fun!
Address any sexual dysfunction early
There’s no shame in admitting that you are suffering from sexual dysfunction. For instance, if you are finding it hard to maintain an erection but just saying you’re tired, your partner may think that it’s about them if you don’t discuss it with them. Discussing and seeking out therapies for longer lasting sex will help solve this issue early.
When problems arise, don’t let the issue stew – it’s bound to cause drama. Talk to your partner and head to the doctor or sex therapist to nip it in the bud.